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Sometimes when a title is adapted for the screen, it’s a cry for you to read it. I wish that was how American Gods ended up on my reading list, but it doesn’t matter how, just that it did, and that Ashley and I are inviting you to join us in reading it, talking about it, and also asking if there are other titles that have been adapted and we really need to read before viewing. Let us know what titles should be on our TBR list in the comments, and then sign up here to join us Friday, May 7 at 7:30 p.m. CST to discuss Neil Gaiman’s American Gods.
Several local-to-me readers have a Facebook group wherein members share what titles they’re currently reading and brief comments on them. I’m not super active on Facebook, and I’m not super active in this group, but when it was school board meeting week, and decision week for online versus in person school for the fall semester, and my current read was Don’t Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy To Your Life by Anne Bogel I posted the cover along with “I’m not sure if this is a great choice or a bad choice two days before the spring school registration deadline, but I’m feeling seen.” Was I overthinking that education choice? Most definitely. As is my habit, we made the decision early in the spring semester based on a variety of considerations (the same we’d used for the last two semesters, with their updated data), yet in the middle of the semester I was still agonizing over if it was the right choice for our children and our family. Was it the right choice? Who knows, but we made the best decision with the information we had and there was no way to get more. Did my agonizing change anything? Other than my stress level? Nope. Maybe how my children should be educated during a pandemic is a bad example, but it’s real life.
How does this relate to virtual book club? This Facebook group feels like the 10 second version of book club, and I adore it for popping in, but nothing is like the bibliotherapy feeling of just having attended a fantastic book club, and that’s how our chat on Don’t Overthink It went! It was a glorious conversation about life, and habits that are and aren’t serving us well. We discussed Bogel’s examples in the book, and how it changed the way I look at grocery store flowers (unlike Bogel I don’t buy them every time, but if I have an urge, and something stands out I do), but we all still overthink things that don’t warrant as much attention as we give them. I think there’s a lot to be said for verbalizing our struggles and sharing them with others. It made me feel better to know I’m not alone, and I’m excited to follow up with the attendees to see how they’re progressing on making easier decisions, stopping second-guessing, and bringing more joy to life! Book club already brought me more joy and is definitely an easy decision for me.
And now, for an update: Something that’s not an easy decision for me, paint colors. After being in my house what feels like nonstop for 13 months (it isn’t far from accurate), I am desperate for the walls in my living room and eating area (aka office and classroom) to be painted. I didn’t like this beige-peach color when we saw the house 8 years ago, and I like it less since I’ve been staring at it daily. Inspired by Don’t Overthink It, I’m finally ready to pursue hiring painters to come in and paint the walls a color I do like. An often repeated saying at work is “I can do anything, but I can’t do everything” and that mostly applies at home too. I can paint, I’m good at it, despite my perfectionist goals (yes it was hard not to type because of, but I’m leaving despite because words have power), and I enjoy the process when I can dig into it with something fun in my headphones (like how I painted over the yellow in my bedroom listening to A Court of Mist and Fury). But I also want to clean out my closets and declutter my bookshelves and cabinets. I’ve wanted to do those things for over a year, but I haven’t felt like I had the energy to allocate to those tasks so I haven’t done them. I can paint and I can clean out and declutter, but I’m not likely to have the time or the energy to devote to both in the short term. So I’m using another phrase from work that Don’t Overthink It keeps inspiring me to say, “Do the tasks only you can do and delegate the rest.” I’m not overthinking it, no one can clean out my closet for me or declutter my bookshelves and cabinets (ok, so they could but it wouldn’t end well), but they can paint for me, so we’re heading down the road of getting quotes and hiring painters. Am I overthinking paint colors now? Most definitely, but it feels different because I’m aware of it, and I even admitted it. Here’s how that went down: after reviewing all the swatches I have at home, narrowing it to four possible colors, pinning those colors on my board that has my living room furniture and flooring, and phoning a friend (yes, Ashley!), I admitted my overthinking and I sought input. And you know what happened? Ashley picked one of the four, and I immediately knew I preferred a different color. Was I still overthinking it hours later? Yes, but it was down to three, with a very likely front runner, and I was feeling good about the process, not overwhelmed. And also, I’m proud of myself for not looking for other color ideas online or in the store because I had plenty of good color input. Hi I’m an enneagram 6w5 trying to be healthier and realizing I don’t need to look at all the colors before I pick one, I just need to review enough to have a few good options to pick from!
If you overthink things, I highly recommend Don’t Overthink It by Anne Bogel, which I am very likely to reread. It’s real, accessible, and like having a conversation with a friend, not a mental health professional, which is sometimes just the advice I’m looking for. I’m off to light a candle, one of the nice ones. What are you leaning into recently to make your life easier or better?
~Nikki
I know, dear readers, that we have talked about the amazing Anne Bogel so many times on this blog. Between her “lifestyle blog for nerds” Modern Mrs. Darcy, yearly Summer Reading Guides, and podcasts What Should I Read Next and One Great Book a good portion of our TBR lists end up bearing the hashtag: #blameAnne. And, we shall continue to share with you all those readerly things she brings into our lives, from book titles to IRL adventures because we find value and joy in her suggestions.
As an Enneagram 1, I feel deeply seen at the list of “Perfectionism may manifest itself as any of the following” in “Chapter 3: Watch What You’re Doing” of Don’t Overthink It coupled with that chapter’s discussion of analysis paralysis. By paying more attention to where I suffer from analysis paralysis, I have also tried to apply the mantras that “there’s seldom one right answer…there are more often many good answers” and the one that states “you don’t need more information. You need to act.” In the past month since I finished reading, both of these have helped me settle down and prioritize the (neverending) mental list of things that need to be done daily – be they personal care, household chores and activities, or real estate business decisions. I haven’t gotten it all ‘right’ but I have seen improvement, and that’s the point. To see improvement in the areas in which I am struggling in order to form new habits.
But, it’s not just habits, per se, it’s also systems. Habitual systems and rituals that ground you, take the ‘over’ out of the ‘thinking’ and just allow you to be. One example of a system that I have placed in my life over the past few years (on and off depending on household needs and budget) is product subscription. I’m not talking about things like the ‘Fit Fab Fun’ box. I’m talking about things like Amazon Subscribe and Save, where you set and forget the fact that your collagen peptides are going to arrive at the beginning of every month, cat litter comes every three, and vitamins arrive every two. Yes, you might get the ‘what did you order from Amazon?’ question from your husband, but then you remind him that these are daily use items in your household and he’s quiet, cause yes, he puts the collagen in his coffee, too, and the cats need clean litter or… nope we don’t want to consider that. It also can show up in things like “The Miracle Morning” that I discussed almost a year ago in our Books for Grads post. Hal Elrod takes the six things highly successful people do every day and combines them into a daily ritual that can take ten minutes or two hours. The S.A.V.E.R.S. or Silence/Meditation, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading and Scribing/Writing, are proven habits that can elevate your success. No bullshit, sitting down in the morning and visualizing the way my day is going to go – by using my planner and analyzing my energy levels – allows me to have a minute of overthinking, squash those what-ifs, and mentally hunker down in order to GET THINGS DONE. I will admit that my biggest struggle in these habits is exercise. I have neither a daily or weekly routine and that makes it tough. I’m filled with excuses, but there it is, and I constantly overthink where I can fit in more ‘body movement’ in my day. I guess we all have to still have ONE area in our lives where we are prone to overthinking. 😉
During our book club discussion, we talked about splurges, and readers, you need to get yourself a Nikki. In Don’t Overthink It, Anne discusses how often times we as women will have something we consider a splurge, be it a high-end wine or a fancy candle that we are saving for ‘a special occasion.’ And, sometimes it might not even BE a fancy candle, but just a candle from a national chain store (or a $5 bouquet of flowers from the grocery store) that we talk ourselves out of buying because we don’t ‘need’ it. Now, back to why you need a Nikki – at VBC I talked about how my favorite scent is Eucalyptus and Spearmint. I use the Dr. Teal’s bath foam, body wash, lotion, and epsom salt soak in my daily bathing routine. My favorite deodorant is the Native brand Eucalyptus and Mint. But, I truly love, and have since I was a teenager, the Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy Stress Relief scent, which is, obviously, Eucalyptus and Spearmint. Last fall I went on a bit of a B&BW binge, and purchased multiple three wick candles, travel sized products, and hand sanitizers. Our budget is not such that I can afford to buy these products at the rate at which I use them, which is why I found the Dr. Teal’s brand for bath time, but I had not found a candle replacement until recently at Dollar General’s new Pop Shelf concept store. It’s not a three wick candle, but it’s the same scent profile and it’s very enjoyable for every day. (I burn a candle most days because the previously mentioned cat box is located in my home office closet. I spend a lot of time at my computer and things can get dicey.) I have been more than satisfied with my $3 B&BW candle dupe. But, an Easter Miracle occurred when I was informed by my book buddy to go check the front porch and a box of MY FAVORITE CANDLES HAD BEEN DELIVERED! ::multiple heart eye emojis:: You know what I’m not gonna do? Overthink about using them, that’s what. I am in medias res of burning another so I’m going to finish that off, but I will only be happy to burn my Easter Miracle candles very, very soon.
Anything that brings you joy, dear reader, don’t overthink it, just buy it or do it, and don’t feel guilty for it. I’m the first to admit I have a bougie planner and sticker habit. (You know this, you see pictures of my planner every Reading Life Review.) I’m not ashamed of it and I will continue to purchase that same planner and sticker subscription for as long as they are produced. (Does the fact that my planner is a tax deduction for my real estate business help me justify the cost, yes, yes it does, but no guilt about that either!) I use them all daily and it makes me happy!
So, this week, go out, find the joy in your habits and rituals, and don’t overthink it!
~Ashley
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