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It’s confession time again, dear readers.  When safer at home orders started, I was so frustrated with everyone who told me (or social media) to enjoy this found time with my family and [insert any other silver lining business here].  As an introvert who desperately needs alone time to re-energize, having our family constantly together was exhausting.  On top of attempting to work and manage children all day, every day.  Y’all, I was so. very. tired. and it was a giant struggle to reacclimate myself, but I did it.  I created a schedule, I adjusted lessons to include less screen time, and I made it work with and for my family.  

A huge part of my personal struggle connects to my personality type.  As an enneagram 6, I had to come to terms with my carefully crafted plans (because it wasn’t just plan A y’all, there were back ups too) falling to pieces around me.  There was so much unknown around the virus and what it would mean (and still is…what I wouldn’t give to know what to plan for this fall), and it was, and is, rapidly changing.  I value clear expectations and security and it was just all gone.   It took time, and me a lot more than many others, but I’ve more or less acclimated now.  I have several masks and they don’t grate so much wearing them, we survived the end of school and created a summer schedule, and we even had a 40th Quarantine Birthday at my house (Happy Birthday Adam).  

I say all of this to say, my emotional labor over the death of George Floyd and the protests, riots, and hard conversations that have followed didn’t hit me quite as hard as the virus that shall not be named, and I want to talk about why with you.  I’m not going to sugar coat it, I’m just going to say it.  The death of a black man at the hands of police isn’t surprising or unexpected.  It should be, but it isn’t.  Protests and riots in response are also expected (although seeing the Target next to my office boarded up was a bit unexpected).  The truths that are being shared more publicly and openly than ever before are not unexpected because they’ve always been there, they’ve just been quieter, more easily ignored, but probably both and more.  I most definitely have a lot of emotions around the tragic death of a fellow human being, the abuse of power, and the need for race redemption in our country, but they’re just stronger than before, and this is known territory, at least compared to a pandemic.  

Here’s the new part that is giving me hope that maybe this time will be different, and different in a way that helps our country to grow together.  I’m proud of each and every BIPOC (Black Indigeous and Person of Color) who has voluntarily shared their experiences and truths openly with the world and honored to be learning from several of these voices.  And I’m proud of every BIPOC who hasn’t because that wasn’t self care for them and they needed to not share.  I’m proud of every white person who has been listening and learning and who has shared the words of others that have been eye opening and informative.  I’m not proud this is just now happening because we are centuries too late.  But we have to start from where we are.

As the Chinese proverb says, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”  If you are ready to join with inspiring leaders, now is a great time.  If you are a member of the majority, please remember the first two steps are listening to and learning from those in the minority, not talking.  Also remember, it is your responsibility to educate yourself.  If you need help finding resources, we’re going to list some below and if you need more, search engines are your friend and will help you.  Please, for the love, do not ask your BIPOC friends to do this for you.  They are probably more tired and heartbroken than ever before.  I know I am, and I’m confident this is more trying for them than it is for me, even though we all expected more of the same.  Love on them, and yourself, by learning and listening, and growing.  Let’s try to break the insanity of continuing to address the wrongs of the past with lip service and bandaids by opening ourselves up to the experiences of those who look different than we do, and because of that difference, have experienced life differently than we have.  

~Nikki 

Obviously, Mondays at Heart.Wants.Books have become about feeling big feelings. Everyone has been feeling and experiencing lots of big feelings in excessive quantities lately. These resources are just a drop in the bucket to help you do the work on learning and changing and becoming a better human by opening up to the lived experiences of other humans. 

My challenge to us who want to learn by reading is that we read novels as novels and allow nonfiction works to be at the core of our knowledge to affect change in ourselves and in society. I am going to remind all of us who are emotionally strong enough to engage in the public discourse to follow those leaders who have been researching, educating, and organizing about race relations over a longer period of time than just the past few weeks. That is not to say that new leaders can’t emerge, especially younger ones like these amazing young women from Nashville Nikki linked to above. But, overall, those leaders to follow have been working towards change for a long time and have the knowledge, community, and experience to make changes that benefit all and limit harm happening to more people.

Also, don’t shy away from having the hard conversations in a more private setting. Sometimes these are harder. The only way anyone who thinks they know you can actually know you is by communicating your thoughts and feelings. This actual communication can be hard and scary, especially with our closest family members and friends. This is heavy and emotional work, too, so stay strong and safe. We here at HWB want to remind you that you are not alone and we stand with you no matter your struggle.

~Ashley

Clearly we believe in the power of books around here.  Books, fiction titles that carry you away, improve our ability to understand others and be more socially aware.  Not all of the resources are fiction, or even books, but if you seek to listen and learn, to know better so you can do better, give them a try.  

• Austin Channing Brown – check out her Facebook page which includes 101 homework the first week of June and her fantastic book, I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness.  (Brown is an ordained minister, so she does write from that perspective but her book is much more memoir than sermon.)
• A book that has been recommended on every list I’ve seen is Ibram X. Kendi’s National Book Award winning Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America. More importantly, just this past March he released Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You: A Remix of the National Book Award-winning Stamped from the Beginning with Jason Reynolds, a remix of the original for readers as young as middle school and includes a free education guide to help have those hard conversations with the young and old.
• Rent “Just Mercy” for free or watch here during June (based on the book by Bryan Stevenson) to learn more about racism and criminal justice. 
• Kandise Le Blanc: Dear White People, This is What We Want You to Do – There’s a lot here.  Take a look at the whole list, and start from where you are.  (There is passionate, expletive language included in this post.)
• David Cook: A plea to white Chattanooga – This feels like it could be written to many cities.  A passionate plea from a white man to his white neighbors.
• Katie Anthony: 5 Racist Anti-Racism Responses “Good” White Women Give to Viral Posts – Powerful thoughts on what not to say, and what you should say to your BIPOC friends. 
• PBS has a list of children’s books about race and diversity.
• NPR offers a list of books, films, and podcasts, and offers it as a starting point, challenging readers to decide what to do with this new information.  
• CNN/Sesame Street town hall on racism
• Looking to buy a book from an independent bookstore – try one of these black-owned bookstores.   
• Still want more?  I Googled for you, and didn’t even use LMGTFY.  Check out my search results here.

Friends, the world today is heavy, and you need to balance doing your work with self care.  If you don’t put your oxygen mask on first, you can’t help others.  If book club might help with that, we’re here for you.  Registration is still open for Virtual Book Club at 7:30pm Central Time on Friday 26 June to discuss Deanna Raybourn’s A Curious Beginning (A Veronica Speedwell Mystery Book 1).  Also, if you have suggestions of what we should read next for book club, bring them!  We want to hear from those who participate what they’d like to read and discuss!